We’re at the stage in proceedings whereby Twitter thinks this season is “the worst one yet,” the cast isn’t engaging, and no one is bringing the drama.
Well, all that is about to change… we hope because things have been a bit ‘murh’ thus far, to be fair.
ShAaron swap words instead of saliva…
Aaron, being a smooth sort, just casually asked Sharon onto the terrace for a “chat”. Sharon was quick to admit: “I was saying to the girls Ive kissed him [Aaron] more times than Ive spoken to him.
So, this time was totally different. This time, they had a discussion about kissing, before kissing for way too long.
So long, in fact, that “he looked like his face had been dunked in a bag of flour.” Fellow misophonia suffers will know what I’m talking about.
Jake strings Liberty further along
Jake and Liberty then took over in the slurping department, finally kissing each other of their own volition rather than being dared to.
After proclaiming she had butterflies and remarked just how nervous he made her feel, Jake dutifully kissed her before promptly letting rip. Because he’s THAT into her.
It’s been abundantly clear that Jake is going to drop Liberty like a hot proverbial once other options become available.
Until that point, he’s only too thrilled to string her along, saying such things as “I can’t wait to have a cuddle later” and asking her if she has “f*nny flutters.”
He even managed to convince himself that he’s falling for her, saying in the Beach Hut: “I like Libertys eyes, they draw me in.”
Moments later, he was telling Hugo in the bedroom that she doesn’t quite do it for him
Who else is settling
Hugo and Faye, of course! They’re all busy trying to get down with someone now that they’ve seen how easily one can be dumped from the island.
What do Hugo and Faye find attractive about each other all of a sudden? She makes him “giggle”, while Faye feels Hugo is “massively career-driven” and “finds that really attractive in somebody. So, big tick.
Wait ’til Faye finds out that Hugo’s teaching career has abruptly come to a close. Not that she cares since the two new lads landed tonight.
New boys debut
Whenever a “bombshell” arrives, we’re presented with a lengthy press pack outlining their likes, dislikes, celebrity crush, life wishes, and so on. By way of a recap, here are the highlights from their respective blurbs:
Behold 6ft 6″ brickie Liam’s pinnacle: “If Im in competition for a female, I want to try my best, but I wont go too far out of my way.”
Indeed. As for who he has his eye on? Kaz and Chloe. Hence why the public voted for him to go on a date with Faye. Did they get on? As it happens, he’s got two of her main criteria “a good hairline and a good tan.”
“Bucket hat entrepreneur”/alleged rugby legend, Chuggs, on the other hand, only seems to like fellow blondes, with him registering interest in Chloe, Faye, and Liberty. So, naturally, the public voted for Sharron to go on a date with him. As for his blurb highlight: “I put together the funnest nights out that weve had, hosting parties at home, pub crawls.”
With regards to his name; if you thought it was, like, a rugger chugging beer reference, that would be negatory. It’s a hybrid of wait for it “cuddles and hugs.
Tweet of the night
Key takeaway
Brad is officially Geordie Michael from Alan Partridge, Jake will be pulling a Wes on Laura as soon as his Megan comes in, and absolutely no one was surprised when both Hugo and Chloe exclaimed they knew Chuggs.
